The things I miss most are things in the night:
- I miss driving to a certain place at 2am and driving home on a deserted highway at 4. I like when the roads are all mine, and when traffic lights seem like suggestions since there is no one else there but you and the quiet night illuminated by your soundtrack.
- I miss the sounds of college- both the absolute quiet (even when I complain about it) and the noise of an active party night. The people, the music, the shuttles.
- I miss the emptiness and the busyness- seeing people places where you didn't expect to run into anyone and being the last person awake.
- I miss going out too. Knowing that you can walk into a bar or a room and there will be people there that you know who are really glad to see you. Always having a place to go.
Consequently, I did find it surprising when my mom came downstairs randomly tonight to hug me, hold me, and tell me how proud she was of me. I felt like I was the parent comforting her, and it was very weird and awkward and eerily painful. It was a night when I wanted to be the child, and instead I felt I was taking care of myself, waiting up for them to get home and then comforting her. The role reversals are disquieting and make me not be as secure with who I'm supposed to be anymore.
At least I get a vacation tomorrow. I think getting away from all this will do me a lot of good.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment