On existentialism, new years resolutions, and laziness

I got in a conversation with my roommate tonight about the existentialism class I took freshman year of college, that, while singlehandedly setting back my GPA, significantly affected my outlook on life. But after spending an evening that I desperately wanted to be productive sitting on the couch, I started to wonder: suppose you say you really want to start living your life tomorrow. Does that entitle you to spend the night on the couch now? Laziness feels wonderful and irresistible.

At the same time though, there are so many things I want to do and so many ways in which I want to be better. I guess there's an argument that they're sorta like new years resolutions this time of year, and that if I were really serious about them I could find the motivation to do them, but still... when so much of the rest of my life takes so much energy, it's nice to be lazy sometimes.

Still, there are things I do in fact want to get done and do better this year. I need to get back in shape, for one. I miss feeling like a varsity athlete and pushing myself in that way. Even if I'm not sure I'm allowed to run, I still want to be able to make it through a difficult workout without being completely pulverized like I used to be able to do. I started doing some exercises tonight, and I want to keep it up.

I'd like to be neater. I want to actually clean things and do dishes and feel sorta uncluttered for once.

And finally, I'd like to spend a little more time NOT sitting on the couch in front of the TV. Cooking, songwriting, reading... I don't want to feel like I'm being lazy. I remember the time when I felt that every moment had to matter-- and the moments have been so great, I don't want to let them laze by.